Scouting Humor Taking Scouting Seriously
	Submitted by Ted Holz
	You might be taking your scouting too serious if:
	You buy that '89 Chevy Caprice because you really like that fleur di lis hood ornament. Your favorite color is "olive drab". You decide to lash together the new deck on the back of your house. You plan to serve foil meals at your next dinner party. You walk the streets in broad daylight with a coffee cup and flashlight hanging from your belt. You raise your hand in the scout sign at a heated business meeting. You were arrested by airport security because you wouldn't give up your official BSA pocket knife until the cop said "thank you". You didn't mind losing power to your house for three days. Your son hides his copy of Boy's life from you. Your plans for remodeling the bathroom include digging the hole deeper. You trade your 25 foot center console fishing boat in on that great little 15 foot canoe. Your favorite movie is "Follow Me Boys" staring Fred MacMurry, and you spent months trying to convince Disney to release it on home video. You managed to find that 8th day in the week. Your patron saint is Ward Cleaver. You disconnect the automatic dishwasher in favor of the "3 pot method." You sneak a cup of "bug juice" after the troop turns in for the night. You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together. Latrines at camp start becoming comfortable. You felt you won a moral victory when BSA brought back knee socks You think campaign hats are cool. You gave your wife a mummy bag rated for -15 deg F for Christmas. You name one of your kids Baden. Your favorite tune is "Camp Granada" (hello mudda.....hello fadda) by Allen Sherman. You can recite the 12 points of the Scout Law backwards, in order, in 3 seconds flat. You bought 10,000 shares of Coleman stock on an inside tip they were about to release a microwave accessory for their camp stove line. You can't eat eggs anymore unless they are cooked in a zip-locked bag. You plan to get rich by writing a best selling Dutch Oven cook book. You took a chemistry course at the local college to help you develop a better fire starter. You actually own a left-handed smoke shifter. The height of your social season is the district recognition dinner. A trip to Philmont is a pilgrimage. You are convinced the center of the universe is Irving, Texas. The sales operators at the BSA distribution Center's 800 number recognize your voice. Singing "Scout Vespers" makes you cry. You were disappointed when Scouting magazine didn't win the Pulitzer Prize last year. The Scouts in your troop chipped in to have you abducted by a professional cult de-programmer.